What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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