I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
