hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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