Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
