WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
