am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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