Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
