it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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