There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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