I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
