Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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