my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
