Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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