so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
