I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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