69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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