Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
