I CAN MOONWALK!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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