Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
