I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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