All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
