i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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