Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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