its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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