I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
