I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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