i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
