Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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