I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
