He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
