Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize