I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
