Will you blow on my dice?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
