did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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