dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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