I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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