I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
