i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
