i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
