I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This is not my ceiling
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize