I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
