woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
