just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She said her name was "party"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
