I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
