i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
