If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
only if we run a train.
done.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
