he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
