Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize