I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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