He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
