he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
