fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
