wrigley field is MILF paradise
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
