u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize