if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
