I am full of burrito and curiosity
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
