girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize