I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
