Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
