I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
