maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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