Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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