All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
